Who am I? What am I?

I identified as bisexual in eighth grade when I was crushing on a girl a year younger than me. I identified myself as some type of transgender my sophomore year in high school.
I’m bio-female, but always felt a little different or apart from the females in my class. “Why am I not pretty like them?” I didn’t feel I wanted to be pretty, but I knew something was off. I ran with my shirt off until fourth grade, when I found out that wasn’t socially acceptable.
It wasn’t until I truly realized I COULD wear men’s clothing, that I really dug myself into sweaters, button down shirts, ties, etc. Sometimes I think that society’s rules really dominated my thoughts on how to act when I was younger, and the fact that I don’t feel female to male ALL the way. I lean to female to male, but I truly would like to appear male, but in my head, I feel genderless. So I’m a little stuck on my name right now because I do enjoy my nickname Dani – Danny is ok, but it’s foreign to me..) Anyway!
I’ve told my parents, and they’re a little skeptical, but I know they love me. They have accepted me for who I am, and for that I am eternally grateful and thankful, for I know that others are not so fortunate. This has turned into a rather long statement, but it feels good to write it down, hear it in my head, and see it with my eyes. Thank you to whoever read this, and good luck to you in the future!

Love,
Dani

Popularity: 31% [?]

Just Out

I had always envisioned that once I was out to my parents, I would feel liberated, that a great burden would be lifted. Well, I was forcibly outed a few days ago when my parents found my “adult files” on my computer, and I’ve found no such freedom.

After having a couple of conversations with my parents about it, they’ve come to grips that I am actually gay, that this is not a phase or a passing thing. As predicted, my mom started crying, and asking me if I had fully considered what my life would now mean. I know it’s a small consolation, but I didn’t apologize for being gay. I may be sorry that it came out like this, but I feel like I have nothing to apologize for.

The worst part now, though, is that I’m feeling lonelier than ever. Perhaps it was bad luck that this all happened as I am starting law school far away from my friends and brothers, but I really wish I had someone else to talk to about what I’m going through.

I know that this will be a process; this was just one step in what is going to be a long journey that will last the rest of my life. It may be entirely trite, but all I really want is for someone to tell me it’s going to be ok.

Popularity: 4% [?]

courage or honesty

I owe some of the hootspa to a boyfriend I had in my twenties who came out to me about liking to crossdress…then he said to me: now go tell/show the world that you like women “you know you do!” I have to admit being somewhat shocked. Not that he liked to crossdress, but that he knew that I longed to be with women. My dream was, at that point, to be with both men and women; often and always. He helped me come out, which at the time was a process of admitting it to myself.

It was other subsequent relationships with guys that I came out to first. Actually to all of them I cam out, but did not actively pursue both sexes until my late 30′s. It was easier to be with men for me, still is, I get all shy when it comes to asking a woman out. Men are easy, simple, I know how to read them better (I think I do anyway).
Because of this ‘shyness’, I tend to hook up with couples more than with single women.

It’s a matter of trust and confidence in myself to be with a woman. I tend to think it’s courage that will help me get more dates with women, but I think it’s really about being honest with myself first.

Popularity: 24% [?]

OH EM GEE!!!!

SO here it is. When i was like 15, i was playing an intense game of strip truth or dare. there was this hotty across the circle named aaron, at the time he was just a guy but when they dared me to make out with him, i knew he was more than just a hotty. That kiss with him was the most memorable moment of my life, like the minute our lips touched i knew, aaron was the one to make me face the truth. I went back home like “shhhhh! dont tell” but the next time i saw him, it was on. We fooled around for a hot minute, it was great. Aaron made me feel what no girl could. He made me want more! At this point very few people knew. My best friend and a few others were all who knew untillll…….ABE! when i started messing around with abe it was great, he showed me everything aaron never did. Abe was the shit in my eyes. He rocked my world harder than ever before. Abe and I went on for a few weeks but i grew tired. I mean hell, im new at the gay thing and i want to play. That was the point when i met Chase and Alex. Chase was a college student who i would spend late nights talking to, alex was my neighbor i would sneak over and have a good time with. Nobody knew until abe found out. Abe found out i didn’t want to be with him any more and the shit hit the fans. Rumors spread, my sister battled the rumors as long as possible. Once it got too much my sister confronted me and alex. At the time i loved everything about alex but i was still seeing chase on the side. My sister pulled me and alex aside and confronted both of us, i told her the truth. I told my sister that i was gay and i had been seeing alex. I also asked her not to tell ANYONE. She kept it a secret, day in and day out. One day me and amy got into a fight and she told my parents i had been sleeping with alex. My mom was OUTRAGED! She went off, quoting the bible and telling me i was a sinner. At this time my dad was still at work so he knew nothing that was going on. I turned to my oldest sister, she would understand. She came to my rescue. As a SHEro in my life janet came and got me. She told my mom there was nothing wrong with me being gay and she needed to get over herself. I stayed with janet for a few days when i got the phone call. I was sitting on the couch with alex at my oldest sister’s house when my dad called. My dad called to tell me that no matter who i was, i was still his baby boy and he loved me no matter what. Hearing this, my mom had a reality check, Later that day, she too called me. They wanted me to come home. So my parents knew, now it was time to face everyone else, At school the next day alex and i went full force into the sea of peers. We admitted we were together, he even went to the extreme of kissing me in the hallway, RIGHT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE ELSE! That was new to me, everyone watching as another man kissed me in the hallway. Alex and I were the talk of the school, we even went to prom in matching tuxes. We were the talk of the school and everyone loved us. We lasted 3 1/2 years. To this day we are still good friends but one thing i learned is that it’s ok to be who you are. Say it loud, say it proud! Look them in the eye and tell them, “I’m gay and im proud of it!”

Popularity: 38% [?]

Overwhelming relief

I ‘came out’ as a bisexual a little over two years ago. I had known that I couldn’t keep it a secret much longer and that my friends deserved to know the true. I was so scared, I started shaking when I told my closest friend. She was just dropping me off for work when I decided to almost spring it on her. There was this moment of complete silence. Then she looked at me, with the most loving face i’ve ever seen she said ‘I know, and I love you no matter what’. I couldn’t believe it. I was in aww, I made her come in with me and we talked for about an hour. I was so happy that I cried for hours. I am by far the most unemotional person, and I could not stop myself. I then called another friend and told her and she laughed at me and said ‘it’s about time!’. I am truley blessed by whatever forces there are to have friends as good as mine. It was the most emotionally draining and freeing experience of my life. My advice to anyone looking to ‘come out’ themselves, is DO IT. No matter the outcome, it is better to be yourself than to live the life of another. You won’t regret living YOUR life.

Popularity: 46% [?]

One down, one to go.

I went to Indy pride with my roommates a couple weekends ago. We got lost, had a blast and I had bought some stickers for my jeep. I had figured that if I added them, my parents would eventually find out and it would make it easier.

Man was I right! I came home, and put the stickers on my jeep and my mom had asked what the equal signs on my bumpers were for. I explained they were for HRC. She was completely cool with that and explained that she already knew what the rainbow sticker meant. When asked if she was ok with it, she responded with “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.” I don’t know if mom thinks I’m bi or if I’m lez but either way, she’s cool with me liking girls. Which is what I thought was going to be difficult to tell her but not anymore.

Next on my list: Dad. A very conservative man who has a cousin he says is just like a sister to him. And she’s a lesbian. So I hope its just as easy as telling mom.

Popularity: 62% [?]

Like A Dream

First of all let me explain that I am not fully “out” but am getting there, slowly but steadily. I have known I was gay since about the age of 10 or 11 and I am now almost 18. I also work as a lifeguard at the local pool.

I started going out with this guy a few weeks ago. I was terrified that people would see us together as we live in a small village with a population of about 2,000. But as I spent more time with this guy the more I wanted to show people how much I loved him!

We would take walks in the woods and hold hands and kiss but as soon as we got into the open we would do nothing. This was fine with me at first because it was a bit of fun and it was my dirty little secret. However I realized this could not go on for ever and eventually I would want to tell people about us.

One day when we were walking in the woods ( and holding hands) someone walked passed us, I thought it was just a tourist but I was soon to find out it wasn’t!

A few days later I was walking down the street after being out with my friend and these two guys (which I knew from school) both asked me if I was gay. Not being able to think about I just said it was possibility. When I went home it occurred to me that someone from the village must have seen me and my boyfriend in the woods.

I went straight to my room when I got home and it hit me that most of village probably knew now but the weird thing is I didn’t care. I sat there asking my self why it mattered so much and I couldn’t think of an answer. So I thought I might as well tell other people.

The next day at work I told another lifeguard and what a surprise, she was cool with it!

Yesterday I went to Swimming Club and somebody made a gay remark to one of the lifeguards so afterwards I went and told the lifeguard that I was gay and I didn’t think it was appropriate. I also explained to him how I had a boyfriend etc. He was really supportive- he said he didn’t have a problem with it and he took an interest to it as well, asking how long I had known I was gay etc.

It was probably hardest to tell the lifeguard at the swimming club how I felt because I had (and still do have a slight) crush on him but it was so easy I think I might tell someone else today.

I will submit another story as I progress through this, surprisingly easy, transition.

Popularity: 62% [?]

I’m sorry.

I’m a girl, and I came out as a bisexual to my boyfriend last August.

I had been waiting for an opportunity to tell him. We had been going out for about ten months. One night, we were having a late night conversation on aim, and I told him about how I’ve had homosexual dreams.

He asked, “are you bicurious?”

And that’s when I came out to him.

At first, he took it very well. He was light-hearted, and he thought it was cool.

But then, he started flipping out.

He was worried about me cheating on him, about how he would never feel good enough, and how I was suddenly a completely different person.

He said he fell in love with the old me, and he wasn’t sure about this new person. Ouch.

We stayed up that whole night, and I cried through most of it.

The next morning, we met up at the beach. It was foggy, overcast. My eyes were puffy and red.

He said that he was so sorry.

We’ve been going out for a year and nine months, now.

We’ve gotten so far.

And it’s really funny, because he ended up accepting himself as a bisexual, too.

But what he said that night, it still stings.

After that, I decided I’m not telling my family unless I absolutely need to.

Popularity: 70% [?]

Looking for support

I was going to come out publically but i confided in a trusted friend who shared my feelings. Well, things seemed so good until- well I won’t talk about it. If anyone is willing to help, I haven’t come out and I don’t know much about the scene other than some time with my former friend. Anyone who can help will be great- I’m in the Scranton area. I’m curious but don’t quite know how to make the scene or meet with others.

Popularity: 74% [?]

Confused

I have been sexually attracted to men for a while, but seem only to connect emotionally with women. I’ve never had any sexual encounters with members of either sex, though I have made advances towards women. I have been parading as completely straight, but I know that’s not the truth (a confession it’s taken me over a decade to admit to myself). Last week, I was prepared to come out to one of my friends as entirely gay, but I don’t believe that’s true either. I realize that would mean that I’m bisexual, that my preference is ambiguous, and that’s disheartening. How can I come out to myself and others if I have no clue which gender I’m attracted to? I would really appreciate some help.

Popularity: 91% [?]

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